What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Jack and Jeff went up a hill to fetch a pail of water, They both turned gay, and had some sex, and now they have HIV

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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Who is the fattest mexican on the earth? Not Osama because he's dead...and he wasn't mexican..

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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