Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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it

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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