what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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What's big and purple? Barney

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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