What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

I went to school. Then I came home.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

asdasdasdasd

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...