Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

What do you call white trash Garbage

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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