Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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Indians

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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guess what what ...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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every cloud has a silver lining

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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