What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

whos a sick fuck? jake morris

Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

Why did the man get a penis Becuse he was gay Add on He died

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

What is older than history?

Your mother is so fat that I suggest she should pay a visit to the nutritionist so they can work out a dieting plan together to prevent weight-related heart problems in the near future.

A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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