A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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Why was the hasidic so stupid? He wasn't. He died in the holocaust.

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Women's rights

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why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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Boob

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

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What starts with the letter P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

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What do you call an awesome school? St Heinrich's Law School (Teaching you to break the laws!)

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have 5 Fingers The Middle One's For You!! :D

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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Where does a successful black person live? Neverland.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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Whats more worse than a dead baby? You shouldn't be thinking about dead babies or stuff worse than them, it is sad.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A broken boomerang

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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