i like my woman how i like my coffe... without d i c k s

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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You should read the Terms of Service.

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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Balls

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A chicken , a dog and a horse walked into a bar. There were going to the vets but were confused.

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whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

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did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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Why do black people like chicken? Because it's tasty, nutritious and easy to cook.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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penis. nuff said.

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops