A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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Religion.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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http://www.com/

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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