what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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who's a slut... you're mom

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Once upon a time

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

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how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

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Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops