Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

My name is Harry.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

roses are red violets are blue

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

Homonyms should be band.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sheriff Sheriff who? Sheriff Robinson your husband has died in a local car accident.

Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

People just dont care about me, yesterday I got a coconut in my head and... AWWWW thats horrible! Yeah I... So did the coconut make it?

Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It got hit by a stone. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the Kangaroo die? It was hit by three falling Koalas.

Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

This is Heading 1

What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

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knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !