How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled ice cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

-Can I ask you one question? -Yes. -Thank you.

What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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