Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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Hey, Max!!

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Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three wars.

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A: What Santa said when he caught Mrs. Claus with one of his elves... Q: What is "Ho ho ho?"

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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suck my balls mr.garison

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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John and Sarah sitting in a tree. K i s s i n g. First comes love. Oops theres goes john-- he's falling---he's falling... he's broken his neck and ruptured his internal organs. D e a t h

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

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A Minister a Priest and a Rabi walk into a bar, they are not setting a very good example.

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2 brothers were arguing, both had anger problems to the point where one started war with the other. Boy1: I HATE YOU Boy2: MOM HATES YOU Boy1: ....Wait why? Boy2: YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT SHE TRIED TO SELL YOU TO A MEXICAN AND HE SAID THAT THING WAY TOO DAM UGLEH ITD BURN THE FACES OFF MY COWS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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