No thank you, I don't like violence

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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I grunt when I poop.

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canada

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick, and could not speak during the last few weeks of his life.

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A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to get intoxicated and then commits a felony.

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

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Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

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Susie had no arms and no legs.. what did she get for Christmas? Cancer. Amy was riding on a swing.. who was pushing her? Not Susie.

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Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

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Mario goes home after a hard day of work and finds his entire family killed and a note from Bowser... He is now an asshole who beats and rapes kids...

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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What do you call a black man with an afro? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

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Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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Fine, just give me the top comment FOREVER, and I wont LIEK completely copy and assimilate your identity on Horsehead network... Forever... Muahahahahahaha!

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Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

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if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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