Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

Do you speak alien? Hola.

What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

What is white black and Chinese A panda

Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

An epileptic man attends a rave.

What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. The chicken was run over by a truck before he could get to the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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