Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

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why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear? A gorilla with with a banana in each ear? Unless it has a name, then refer to it by it's name. be polite.

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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Rebecca Black starts to sing a song, and when breaking out into her annoying chorus, we realize that it's not about the days of the week.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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Stephen Walking hawks into a bar.

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whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

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once upon a time there was a girl named katie. she walked across the road. she got hit by a truck. now she's in heaven. the end,.

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why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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