why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

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What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

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Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

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two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

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Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

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Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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Women's rights

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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Christians pornstars.

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why didn't the blond laugh at the anti-joke? because, she was aborted in her mom's third trimester

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't rape, which her sister had experienced while traveling in 2007.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

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A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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