Why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno, that's why I asked you.

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How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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Communism ... ... ... ... ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

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Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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What's worse than a baby in a car accident? The baby survives and has a mental problem, grows up, and then drives the same car and gets in another accident.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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Penis

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your mama is so fat she wears big pants.

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why are their no mexicans in hell they all jumped the border

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A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC.

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What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

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What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

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Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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