A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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Oliver's friends

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Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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anus soup

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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What comes after "Q" R

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? The deaf man spoke no identifiable words because he could not hear what he was saying. He mumbled a few phrases in jibberish, and the blind man continued looking for his favorite brand of Ramen Noodles at his local Harris Teeter.

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Obamacare!

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Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

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A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

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Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

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Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he enjoyed his day viewing many sea animals while buying a souvenier on his way out.

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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Q: why did sally fall off the swing A: she had no arms A:knock knock Q:who is there A:not sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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