What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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What dithe blackman say to the white man ???? Nothin! They both committed suicide.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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