Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

Yes

Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...