How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops