What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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Kim Kardashian.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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What is as dry as a bone? A bone

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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What Is somthing that is 5 "5" and white A 5 "5" white person

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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who just made fun of katie matt

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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