What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virgian Hawk

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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Why did Lebron go to Miami? Because Chuck Norris told him to.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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Will nearis is here! Get it

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Why was Junior sad? His parents were killed in a car crash.

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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