What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

Lol (wow, I am using that a lot... BAAAD!) Anyway, yeaaaah, you thanked me for being who I am, this rush of happy drugs from the body is totally a sign of taking insult... Funny, I am not much of a endorphin person otherwise.

Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

Why was the mexican ugly? -UR MOM!

knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

Oh my God! A talking dog!

Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

Bill: Heydidyouknowlosersaywhat Donny: What? Bill: Loser

haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

Why does the St. Johns River flow north? Because Georgia Sucks.

What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

hey

I'm so full I could stop eating.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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