- Anti Joke

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

Invisible Television.

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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