What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

gay marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the worst part about being a blonde? Random green painted strangers throw forks at you claiming it will confuse you, because they got it off of an anti joke website!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I'm a boy... I like hamburgers... Xbox is my favorite activity.... I have a dog... My dad is cheap... He's my doctor, my dentist, and my mom... Haha get it?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

thumb_up thumb_down -17

holly shit!!!! when did i get on the internet !?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

thumb_up thumb_down -17

who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops