why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Once upon a time a was born

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what are you mike bibby?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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David Cameron

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops