A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

What's the new green? Green

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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