Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

Where would canada be without nature? still here

Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

Tony Soprano walks into a diner

what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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