Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because the mas of the ice-cream gathered up enough potential energy to increase the velocity of said ice cream making a mess on the ground.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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YEAH! LIKE RELLEZ! XD Anyway, sure, it depends, you don't get voted as the most pointless man on Horse-head network without working some for it, but if really weird comments impress you, then sure. Honestly though, I might have been flexing my show off muscles a bit more than usual, as in posting more stupid stuff than usual, BUT, that is because when a MAN meets a sexy WOMAN, yet another one than his WIFE, his already boiling testosterone burns with flames... ...And yeah, where where we again? Oh yeah, you acting a bit bimbo, and me going "RELLEZ" just to make you aware... Then added this.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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No!

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Antijokes?! More like Antijakes!!!

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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