What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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