wanna hear a joke: women's rights

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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It's long!

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If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

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4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

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Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head were on a plane. They never met, and went their separate ways.

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What was the biggest party of 2010? The Democrats.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell an Anti-Joke.

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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Why were there teeth marks in the guys arm? He bit himself

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

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Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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How many black guys does it take to change a lighbulb idk, you cant see its dark

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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Jesse ziggenfat hates his life. He's really obese. Just like his mom...and his sister...and his brother.....and his dad.... And his dog? Bacon?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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