What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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A fat man buys a salad

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Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

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there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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b

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Did you know?

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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you are gay

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Roses are red Voliets are blue I suck at making poems Refrigerator

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Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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