What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Child Prostitution.

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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what time is it rape time

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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how does peploe get around they walk

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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