What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

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Roses are red violets are next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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In Soviet Russia you drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up.

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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