What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

God is real.

a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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