there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

He who laughs last gathers no moss.

So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

. . I am a whale

What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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