What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

whos on the right track? lady gaga

Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

your mama so old, shes dead.

Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...