Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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good looking women

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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