How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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Ubisoft presents a game by ubisoft

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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What do you call a black man on the moon - A Problem What do you call 5 black men on the moon - A Bigger Problem What do you call every black person on the moon - Problem Solved!

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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Ben Wuz here was the funniest Hahahahaha

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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