A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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I was raped the other day... I still did more work than the bitch

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a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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What comes after 69? 70

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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Q:what's worse than eating outdated raviolis? A:terminal cancer.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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