A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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Justin Beiber

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench Men enjoying a day in the park

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

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why is cancer a big thing because its bad

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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Why did the boy cross the road? He was visiting his dying grandmother at the hospital.

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A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

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YOLO You only like Oreos

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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