What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

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Hey, you have small hands.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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