Once upon a time there was a cat named Martin. He died.

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How do you make a salesperson cry? Shoot him in the face and throw him off a cliff

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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What did the abortion clinic serve at the cafeteria? Fetus soup

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What do you say to a black man with AIDS? I hope you get medical help and find a cure for your illness.

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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What's better than group sex? Gang rape

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MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Yes. A: Thanks.

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops