Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

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your mom is so poor that now your family is at risk of losing there home

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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Gale swallows.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Wumbo

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you.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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