What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? cuz she was blind

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops