why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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