A man made a sandwich.

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

What's worse than being the last man on earth with thousands of women to please? Realizing that you are gay and there are no men left.

Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

i cant think of one.

How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

I just met you! And this is crazy! I just took bath salts, and yor face looks tasty!

Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

Your mom is so cheap, that she eats her cereal with a fork to save milk

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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